


The Devil Within

by Lemmywinks



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Blowjobs, Humiliation, M/M, Masturbation, Noone's getting out of this, Sebastian fucks everyone, Sebastian is a slut, Tit wank, everyone gets a ride, semen - Freeform, serpents, snake sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 13:34:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lemmywinks/pseuds/Lemmywinks
Summary: Humans are so fucking gullible. A pretty face and a posh English accent and that's it, I'm one hell of a butler. It's such an easy aesthetic to maintain - pour some tea, be an arsehole, say shit like 'yes, My Lord' while trying not to let on that I'm actually bored as fuck.It seems like I'm not going anywhere for a while though since my Master only wants to sit around and be a little shit, so what better way to spend my time than indulging in the very humans that irritate me so? After all, it's the least they can do when I grace them with my presence and so generously refrain from mauling and eating them.If you're looking for a horrible fic where Sebastian is a right bastard and sleeps with everyone just because he can, then this is the one for you.





	1. Bard

This whole contract thing could've been sorted so much quicker. Obviously I'm aware of who killed my Young Master's parents and stuck him in a cage, If he'd just ask me we could get this whole thing over with but he wants to sit around and eat cake and be a little shit. That's fine and all, it gets me a free pass to stick around in the human realm for a bit, but it does get a tad dull to forever be the wolf among the sheep. Especially ones that just stand around and bleat at me all day. ' _Waaah Sebastian feed me, waaah Sebastian I can't do up a fucking shoelace, waaah some red haired bitch is coming at me with a chainsaw_ '. Like no one can sort out their own problems.

I'm pretty convinced they'd all just starve to death anyway if I wasn't here. Like right now, I walk silently into the kitchen and witness the soldier trying to caramelise the crème brulee, except he's doing it with a lighter and a massive gas canister. I have no fucking idea what he's doing and I'm pretty sure he doesn't either.

I stuff a tea towel over my arm so I look all professional and clear my throat.

"Perhaps the blow torch might be more effective?" I suggest, making him jump. He looks appropriately sheepish for a sheep as he spins around, and I quickly correct myself before he can be an idiot. " _This_ blow torch".

I plop down the tea towel and pass him the delicate little kitchen blow torch. He just stands there, staring at it like he's never seen the thing in his life. He probably hasn't.

"Err, I didn't realise you were there, Mister Sebastian" he says annoyingly. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? Why is he wasting time telling me crap like this?

"That's quite all right, I merely wished to ensure we didn't have a repeat of last week's incident" I say with a smile so fake it should win an award. Like, who the fuck would actually smile at the memory of the kitchen on fire? Me, apparently.

He smiles back because that's the normal thing to do when discussing his various fuck ups. "Awh, yeah" he states with profound eloquence, scratching the back of his neck with the blow torch nozzle. I think this probably confirms that he's actually retarded.

I bet I could get him to suck my dick.

"Here, now" I say gently, turning him back to the crème brulee and standing behind him, close enough to wrap my arms around his body and guide his hand with my own. He smells like gunpowder and testosterone and I don't even bother to hide it when I sniff the back of his neck.

"Whoa, wha-what're ya doing?" comes his attempt at a protest in that unrefined American accent of his.

"I am merely demonstrating the method that is expected from a Phantomhive servant. After all, technique is most important, wouldn't you say?"

"I....uh...."

I stroke my own gloved finger along his suggestively as I manoeuvre him like some sort of crap puppet. His breathing gets louder as we caramelise the sugar together, slowly moving the torch back and forth over the dessert until the topping is browned evenly without melting the custard underneath.

"There, now. Slow and steady can be rather pleasing indeed".

I push my cock up against his ass. I'm not even hard but it's just that huge he can easily feel it, and he sucks in a breath as I drag it around a bit.

"Wow, that's... uhhh..."

He's just so full of these witticisms today. I grind a bit more and my dick wakes up, poking itself against him.

 "Is there a problem, Bardroy?"

The baking utensil clatters on to the kitchen counter as his grip loosens and I don't bother to pick it back up.

"Well?" I ask a bit more insistently, turning him around to face me. I give him a stern look and put my hands on my hips, that massive bulge at my crotch probably even more noticeable as the fabric pulls taut.

My death glare usually works in any situation and this one is no exception.

"N-no problem at all, Mister Sebastian, Sir!"

"Good, because we only have - " I check my pocket watch "twenty minutes before the Master's dessert is due".

I give him this obvious _look_ , one that even a child would understand. Alright maybe not every child, but the particularly fucked up ones would. The Master, for instance.

He draws a blank and just stares at my dick like it's going to give him instructions.

"Nineteen minutes" I say pointedly.

"Right, yeah, won't uhhh Finny be along though in a minute? Doesn't Mey-Rin need to uhhh come and get the cutlery?"

I fight against an eye roll. "I doubt Finny would get much gardening in done in here, Bardroy. As for Mey-Rin, I just saw her leave with the cutlery as I came in, did I not? She's probably occupied wrestling the plates from the dining room". Actually I know for a fact that she's stood right outside the door listening to us but whatever.

"Right, but -"

"Eighteen minutes" I inform him in the most pissed off tone I can muster. He's cutting my dick-sucking session short, I can hardly believe how grotesquely selfish he's being.

"Well, I'll just...." Again with the profound statements, though he's getting the idea at least. He re-arranges his chefs attire so the he can kneel in front of me and then, as an afterthought, takes the ever-present cigarette out of his mouth and looks around for somewhere to put it.

"I'll take that" I say, and pluck it from his fingers.

He actually looks a bit disappointed. Don't worry you stupid sheep, your mouth will be filled with something better if you just get the fuck on with it.

I bend over and stick my cock right by his face as I reach for the blow torch on the counter. "Seventeen minutes". I don't sound quite as eloquent as usual since I'm in the process of lighting up the cigarette between my lips. Usually I wouldn't condone smoking in the kitchen but then I'm about to get my dick sucked so maybe the occasion calls for it? Yes, new rule, smoking is allowed as long as dicks are being sucked, specifically mine.

All that pissing about and then he finally gets to it. He undoes the buttons at my crotch clumsily as I set the torch back down and take a long drag of the lit cigarette, looking down at him in amusement as he reaches in and tugs at my erection until it springs out of the opening.

It's hilarious the way he braces himself before going in, screwing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath. He gives it a stupid experimental lick, gripping the base tightly like it might run away or something. I can feel the stubble below his lip when he doesn't quite open his mouth wide enough, like sandpaper dragging over the sensitive skin of my glans. Thanks for that.

I stick my finger right in his mouth and pry open his jaw, thrusting forward to get the tip into that wet cavern.

"Hngh" comes the resulting undignified noise from him, and I'm a bit worried he'll bite down reflexively. I keep my finger on his teeth for a moment, just in case, and decide it's safe when I'm not immediately castrated. 

I breathe the smoke in deep as his jaw widens and he tries to get accustomed to the thick flesh invading his mouth. I've only got about fifteen minutes of blowjob time left thanks to his nonsense. This had better be worth it.

At least he knows how to suck. I shut my eyes as he gets into it and it's pathetically tentative at first, but then it's like he gets a taste for it, his tongue slathering all over the whole thing before he stuffs it in deeper. It isn't like one long suck, that constant pressure that some humans feel the need to give, but lots of little ones, quick slurps as he sucks and releases, sucks and releases.

I take another long drag of the cigarette and huff the smoke out of my nose as he pushes my cock tight to the roof of his mouth with his tongue. The head slides over every ridge of his palette as he pulls back and I'll admit that this has been a few minutes well spent.

Still, we don't have long left now. I ram my dick hard into his mouth as I lean over him to stub out cigarette on the kitchen counter. He splutters a bit and I just love that sound so much I grab his hair and snap my hips forward again. You know what, this is actually better, I can always fuck myself so much nicer than anyone else ever can.

My hands grip on to his head as I hump his mouth, pushing my dick in and out rapidly. He's trying so hard to carry on giving me a nice suck but I'm going too fast, probably using a bit too much force judging by the annoying whiny noises he starts to make. Those pathetic sounds drown out the symphony of wet noises coming from my cock, it's distracting.

Fine, fine. I slow down a bit and rotate my hips, dragging my dick around his tongue as he tries to catch his breath. I forget sometimes just how fragile these creatures are. Can you believe that this one will actually die if he doesn't breathe for just a few minutes? It's ridiculous but I exude patience, just rutting against his face a bit while he indulges himself in that intake of air.

All right that's enough. I pick up speed again but not too much, pulling his head down with every thrust and trying to coax him into a rhythm. He lets me, but he isn't really being much of an active participant any more, just letting his jaw hang open gormlessly.

"Suck it" I order, and I actually sound a bit breathy just from shoving it in this idiots face, it's sad. I really need to get out more.

"Mmmmmm" he replies, and _fuck_ does he do as he's told. I even make a stupid noise in my own throat as I feel those vibrations around my cock. He hollows his cheeks as he starts to really engage in his task like an obedient servant,  his tongue writhing around and rubbing over me and yes, it's so good, I might even get to blow my load like this.

You know what they say, time flies when you're getting fellated. I've only got a few minutes left so I make the most of it. I can hear Mey-Rin outside the door still, breathing loudly and probably fingering herself as she watches my dick get swallowed. I pull out to give her a good view, wiping pre-come off the end all over Bard's lips before shoving it all back in again. I hear her gasp and I feel like I just provided her some sort of service. My generosity is just beyond compare. You're welcome.

It's the look on the chef's face that gets me off in the end. He's looking up at me and begging with his eyes for this to be over, he hates it but still he wants me to fill his mouth, he's desperate and uncertain and the whole thing is actually  _turning him on_ , I can smell his hard dick underneath the layers of clothing. It's just so fucking precious how confused this whole thing is making him and I take great pleasure in giving the base of my own dick a few squeezes as I jerk into his mouth and feel that tightness in my balls just before the rush of orgasm takes over.

Semen gushes out of me as I slide around inside his mouth, and he obviously doesn't know what he's supposed to do because his tongue flops uselessly over my throbbing flesh. I grunt and push it in a bit further, rubbing the spurting slit right over his wet muscle and feeling it flood the orifice until he's drooling my spunk right down his chin.

Since I'm so busy coming, I can hardly be blamed for what happens next. I pull back a bit and grip on to myself as I pump the last few squirts right out on to his face. If his lips were sucking me better then this would never have happened, so I think I'm justified in blaming him for the mess when a line of my fluid hits his cheek and then his nose. Really I'm being considerate, it didn't go in his eye, did it? No, that generosity of mine just keeps on coming today, along with my dick.

He coughs and splutters and throws one hand up in front of his face as I finish off. He's breathing even harder than I am as he tries to wipe at himself, smearing my come right into his skin. I would help him but I'd rather just enjoy the show as I tuck myself away and replace my soiled glove with a fresh one from my pocket, barely even bothering to hide the contract seal since no one's paying any attention to my hands right now.

Eventually I pass him the tea towel.

"Apologies" I say in a bored tone. I'm not sorry, that was hilarious. "Perhaps you'd like to freshen up while I see to the dessert".

He mops up his face as he stands, straightening up with as much dignity as he can muster after having taken a load to the face.

"Y-yeah, I reckon..."

"Good, then please see to the dishes when you are ready".

I pick up the crème brulee and breeze from the room, passing a very flushed Mey-Rin on the way, though I don't acknowledge her. I'm sure I'll have my fun with her one day but I do like a bit of anticipation now and again. She can wait for it, she's not exactly going anywhere.

The Young Master is taking his food in his study today, pretending to work while he just makes a stupid little house out of cards.

"You're three minutes late, Sebastian" he tells me without looking up.

"I'm dreadfully sorry, My Lord, I fear that I was otherwise engaged".

I set the dessert down in front of him and it seems that Mey-Rin actually managed to lay out the cutlery and serving plate before she came to spy on us. Impressive.

"Hmph" pouts the child, and the unfinished house of cards comes fluttering down. "Urgh, now look what you've done".

Because yes, this was my nefarious plan all along, evil demon that I am.

I place the glass dish of the crème brulee on the fancy plate and he looks at it in disgust.

"Did you touch this at all, just now?"

"Only the dish" I say defensively.

He considers for a moment. "I'm guessing you weren't occupying yourself with anything decent in the kitchen. Tell me, was my dessert in the vicinity while you indulged yourself? And on my time, no less?"

See that's the problem with fucked up children, they know far too much. I can't even lie to him, it's no fun at all.

"Yes, My Lord".

Another 'hmph' and he pushes the plate away with one finger like he might catch something.

"What have I told you about this sort of thing? Oh, don't even bother to answer that, just go and have a bath or something will you. When you're clean I expect another dessert, one that hasn't been tainted with your foul activities. You are dismissed".

I fucking hate this kid with his unrealistic demands. I pick up the plate and bow before he stops me again.

"No no, leave that one".

He doesn't actually look bothered at all as he picks up his spoon and shoos me away with a few flicks of his wrist.

He probably gives less of a fuck than I do. I suppose that as Master's go I could have worse, and I wonder if Bard has got the come smell off of his face yet as I make my way to the bathroom. 


	2. Finny

How can anyone possibly fuck up raking the leaves? The word 'rake' is right there, a good indication of what tool to use, yet it looks like Finny has gotten a plough from somewhere and has started preparing for harvest season or something right in the middle of the ornamental lawns. Does he think it's going to be a lean winter? Or maybe it's trenches he's going for, I don't even know at this point, but whatever he's doing it's so fucking ridiculous that I need a minute to just stare out the window at the ruined gardens, attempting for the umpteenth time to fathom the immeasurable stupidity of humans.

"Are you going to go out there and scold him or not?" Asks the infuriatingly calm voice of my Master. He's been steadily making his way through a red velvet cake for the past half an hour, a cake that was supposed to feed eight people according to the cookbook. He's not even pretending to do paperwork anymore, I knew I should have saved the cake until later. Nothing ever gets done around here.

"Seriously, Sebastian, you've started to make a weird high-pitched sound. It's rather disconcerting, you're disturbing my work with your racket".

I don't bother to reply, what's the point? He's even put his cake plate right on top of the paperwork, so I give it a disgusted look as he shovels another forkful in his mouth. He looks right at me when he does, making his eyes all wide and innocent. Or eye, I should say. Because he only has one. I fucked the other one up and now he has to wear a stupid eyepatch.

Feeling slightly better about everything, I excuse myself and make my way down to the gardens. It's fairly easy to find Finny, I just have to follow the hideous grooves in the ground until I discover him running around like a lunatic with some weird contraption strapped to his back. It's like he's just tied together every gardening tool in existence and expects it be more effective - why the fuck does he think that the addition of multiple pitchforks are going to help matters?

He's getting dangerously near to the rose garden now, so I calmly cut across his path and raise an eyebrow.

"Mister Sebastian!" He cries, digging his heels in to try and stop himself. All he does is skid along the grass, ruining it even more before he crashes into my chest."Waaaaaah!"

I don't budge as all the tools go clattering to the ground, Finny almost following them, though I grab his elbows firmly to keep him upright. Not too firmly though - I let him stagger a little bit, just because it's funny.

The clanging of tools goes on for a moment, so I just stare at him with a thunderous expression until it shuts up. "Whatever do you think you're doing?" I ask him in my snootiest butler voice.

"Oh, well... I thought that, with the lawns being so big and all, I should just..."

"Allow me to stop you there" I say, releasing him and holding up a hand. His voice is so bright and cheery I could actually vomit. "Please look behind you and tell me exactly what part of this venture was productive?"

He turns around slowly and seems a bit taken aback, like all the scores of earth marring the grass have just cropped up magically out of nowhere. I can practically see the cogs turning in his brain as he tries to think up some excuse.

"I guess that.... that didn't work". Is all he can come up with. Genius.

"Indeed it didn't" I say sternly "Though I find myself baffled in regard to your complete lack of awareness, as per usual. No matter - please follow me and we will see to your reprimand".

"R-reprimand?"

I spin around and start walking, calmly heading towards the storage shed. It takes a few moments for him to follow and when he does it is with all the garden supplies, scooped up in his arms and rattling noisily as he runs to catch up.

"Mister Sebastian, wait! I can fix this, I just need something like... a big rolling pin to flatten down the grass. I could probably make one, out of a pipe and.. maybe an oil drum..."

Urgh, Hell, that was quite enough of his experiments for one day.

"I insist that you leave the clean up to me" I inform him, and hold open the shed door, gesturing politely for him to enter.

"Ummm..." He looks nervous, hesitating on the threshold. I give him an inelegant shove and follow him in, slamming the door behind us.

Now, where did we keep the rubber gloves?

"I...I really am sorry, it won't happen again, I just -"

"You'll need to put those down, Finnian" I tell him calmly, looking pointedly at the random assortment of gardening tools still clutched to his chest.

He positively flings them down in his eagerness to obey. Because that's just so helpful, it makes up for everything.

I locate the gloves, tucked away in a drawer for Finny to use when handling the garden chemicals, though the pack hasn't even been opened. We're all about the health and safety here.

"Please lower your trousers" I instruct him politely as I open the box.

He doesn't obey and I find myself confused. I even said please, why is he looking at me like that?

"I cannot discipline you with them in place" I explain slowly as if talking to somebody with severe mental retardation - he does seem particularly dim-witted today, maybe he banged his head at some point this morning.

"Are you going to... fl-flog me?"

I sigh wearily. "Nothing of the sort" I assure him, pulling out the rubber gloves and stretching them a little. I accidentally on purpose let go of one and it makes an audible snap. "Now please do as you are asked, I would hate to have to draw this out".

His face goes all pale, it's hilarious, but he finally does as he's told. He undoes the fastenings at the front and turns around to face the cabinet that holds all the smaller tools.

"You... want me to...."

I pick up a tube of lubricant and come to stand behind him.

"Please put both hands on the table, Finny, that's right, and just lean forward a touch".

He's in a good position now, so without further ado I yank down his clothing and listen to his yelp as his bottom is left bare before me.

It's not actually that bad, as bottoms go. It looks smooth and firm, light muscle causing a pleasant roundness to the buttocks and I accidentally make a small sound of appreciation. Whoops.

"Wh-what?" Finny asks, so I quickly shush him like this is completely normal. Yes, this is probably how punishments are always dished out in the houses of the aristocracy.

I pull the white cotton glove off my right hand and replace it with the medical grade rubber one. Since my tutor glasses are in my pocket, I pop them on as well. I don't need them to see, I just find it really kinky.

"Now then, I feel you need to learn an important lesson in thinking things through and being more careful" I explain as I squeeze the lubricant over my fingers. "Do try to bear that in mind".

I fully expect him to start sobbing when my finger reaches for his hole, but he takes it well. I'm even a little impressed - all he does is hiss at the sudden cold sensation when my finger starts to circle around that small opening hidden between his cheeks.

"Very good" I reassure him before I push in.

He's tight. I bet he's never shoved anything up there in his life, only resorting to quick wanking sessions whenever Bard falls asleep in the bed across the room, stifling his moans so that he won't get caught. He's in for a real treat today.

"Ngh" he grunts when I push at his back to make him bend over a bit more. I just need that angle so that I can search, pressing with my finger and crooking it. As a Phantomhive butler, I pride myself on the ability to find a prostate.

"Ahhh!" He cries out and his back arches, his muscles flutter, everything you might expect from a seventeen year old getting his ass poked so good. I do it again a few times, rubbing right along the bundle of nerves until he's shaking and trying to speak.

"Mister... Sebastian, I don't know... AH! Please, I just AH! I can't..."

It's just babbled nonsense so I take no notice, pushing in a second finger to shut him up.

It sort of works. There aren't any more words coming out of his mouth as I finger him, just weird noises or possibly phrases from another language, a particularly grunty one.

"Please..." Is the only word I can make out after he's had a good fingerfuck. Please what I don't know, so I just take a wild stab at it.

On a related note, that hand trowel looks so innocent sat there on the side. It won't be for long. The handle is the perfect shape, nice and smooth. Ah well, the hand trowel had to lose its virginity some time, why not now.

I make comforting noises as I slowly pull out my fingers. At least I think they are comforting. I just say 'shhh' a lot as he whines. I might as well just be telling him to shut the fuck up when you think about it.

The handle of the trowel gets lubed up nicely and he's even starting to squirm for it. I have to steady him with a hand to his hip before bringing my thumb across and dragging at one cheek to expose my goal.

I'd love to say something profound right now, like 'open wide' for instance, but I control myself with utmost professionalism as I take the lubricated trowel and push the handle against that puckered hole of his. He whimpers as it sinks in slowly, and I notice one of his own hands reaching up to his face. The noises he makes start to sound stifled and I realise he is biting down on his own fist. Lovely.

I pull the handle out a little bit at a time before shoving the whole thing back in and he gasps at the sudden action.

"Do try to relax" I say kindly as I begin to just jackhammer it in and out. I must admit this utensil was a good selection of mine, the handle gliding along so effortlessly it's practically a form of art. Let's face it, there's nothing I can't do gracefully, and fucking this kid with a trowel is proof of that.

"M..Mister...S....Sebas...."

He can't even get my name out I'm slamming this tool into him so good. I slow down just slightly and angle the thing a little bit more to really wring all those gasps and whines from him.

"Yes?" I prompt when it seems like he's forgotten what he was about to say.

He basically tells me he's going to come if I carry on. I do not have the patience to recount the actual words since he going on and on, hinting at it and skirting around the issue for ages while trying to get his point across. I play dumb until it gets boring.

"Feel free to do so, if that is what you need" I tell him, making it seem like that wasn't the entire point of this anyway.  Honestly though, it's not like my permission means all that much since I can practically smell the spunk in the air. He's going to come regardless of what I say.

I don't really feel like touching his cock so I am figuratively grateful when he grabs for it himself. He sounds humiliated but intensely pleasured at the contact, an unusual sound that is not unlike an excitable donkey.

"NghAAAAHHHHHHHHHngh"

His ass grips the handle so tightly that I can only wriggle it about where it is buried deep as he comes, squirt after squirt flying out over the cabinet. It even lands on the little shelves opposite that hold the boxes filled with screws and nails. That's going to be a nightmare to clean, I'm not doing it. Maybe I'll ask Mey-Rin to sort it out, for pure entertainment value.

He shakes violently as he continues to ejaculate and I wonder how long it's been since he last jerked himself - a while judging by the intensity of his orgasm. Or maybe it's just me, I give such a good trowel-fuck that he can't help but come this hard.

Eventually his muscles relax and he slumps forward, his head thudding onto the table as he gasps for breath.

"There now, that wasn't so bad, was it?" I say, gently removing the handle and reaching over him to place it on the shelf, near to the soiled box of screws. Mey-Rin could clean that too while she was at it.

Since I am the most generous and considerate of all demons, I even help him refasten his trousers seeing as his hands are trembling so badly. I then discreetly peel off the rubber glove and replace it with my cotton one, tossing the used rubber aside haphazardly. My glasses are also removed and put back into my inside pocket since there isn't anything kinky about fixing the lawns, which I now had to go and do thanks to Finny's idiocy.

"Mister Sebastian?" He asks hesitantly as I open the shed door. Whatever was it now.

"Yes, Finnian?"

"I just wondered, really... What did any of that have to do with teaching me to be more careful?"

Fucked if I know.


	3. Snake

One of the many perks of being a Demon would have to be my heightened sense of hearing. Such a useful skill to have - I can listen for anyone approaching the Manor, detect danger at the slightest provocation and even monitor the vital signs of my Young Master to ensure that he is safe and well.

If I can be bothered. No, if I'm going to be completely honest I just enjoy listening to those filthy fuckers touch themselves. They probably think they're being so subtle about it, too - like there's anything subtle about their stifled moans and shaky breaths or the dried fluids on the bed sheets in the morning.

My Master is the worst for that - I think he stopped bothering to be tidy about the whole thing long ago, knowing that I'd be a good dog and clean it all up in the morning. I always know I'm going to get extra work when I hear those telltale gasps coming from his room at night. It's annoying, but the additional laundry is almost worth it to listen to him; he starts off reluctantly, grudgingly, as though tending to a necessary chore, but that changes as soon as he hits the point of no return. All that stubborn pride falls away in an instant and he sounds positively primal, panting and groaning as he desperately seeks his release. It never really takes that long and he whines when he comes. That will probably get really annoying as he gets older, Lady Elizabeth is in for a treat.

There might be a pubescent mess of hormones in the house, but the most frequent participant of these sordid self-sessions is actually Mey-Rin. By far. She manages to find the time for a good frigging most nights and some mornings too, getting herself off with the kind of precision and dedication that is utterly absent from her servant duties. If only she could set the table with that kind of expertise, it would make my job a lot easier. Alas, she is just as incompetent as ever, though I suppose it doesn't hurt to keep her around just to listen to those wet sounds, the gasping breaths and the faint whisper of my name whenever she comes. One day I will fuck her into a delirium, but first I want her to get so desperate for it that she cries. What can I say, I like to challenge myself on occasion.

Currently (during working hours, I might add) the sounds of self-sex reverberating off my eardrums are some particularly interesting ones - ones that I hadn't actually expected, for once. It all starts off normal despite the unusual hour; soft, shuddering breaths, the silky slide of skin on skin and then.... hissing?

It's been four months since Snake has come to live with us and not once have I heard him touch himself. I just assumed he was really really boring. Just this time, this one time out of an eternity of being right, I will admit that I was wrong - there's nothing boring about those sounds, the slither of dry scales over supple skin and his shaky exhalations, fuck, he sounds so horny I'm actually starting to get hard just listening to this sexualised freakshow.

I would literally pay to see what the fuck is going on, I would stuff money into Snake like a hungry jukebox, but there's no chance of that now since I'm in the library helping the little brat. I'm pretty sure I finished whatever it was I was supposed to be doing, so I turn to await my next order and finally notice him standing there openly gawking at me, hands folded over his scrawny chest.

"Sebastian, you seem a little... distracted. What is it that you're thinking?"

Why does he always have to interrupt my fun? Never mind, this might be amusing. I swore never to lie to him, no reason to break that promise now.

"I was just pondering how much I enjoy listening to the various members of the household masturbate" I inform him with an utterly straight face.

He rolls his eyes and picks up a book from the pile at his feet. "Why do I ask" he mutters, turning the page.

That's it. End of conversation. He doesn't even care, he's acting like I'm being predictable. _Me_. _Predicable_.

"Indeed" I continue, because I'm not fucking finished yet. "I was just musing about how you seem to be finally coming of age, My Lord, if the wet spots in your bed are any indication. Tell me, do you enjoy wringing it from yourself with your own hand or should I invest in a prostitute for your next birthday?"

He barely even glances up from his book. "Why bother with a prostitute when you're right here?"

Bravo. Hilarious. The demon is a whore.

"Why Young Master, I had no idea that I was your preference". Hah. I'm so clever.

"Hmm, not really. You're just so much..." He looks up and eyes me from head to toe with a slight sneer. " _Cheaper_ ".

Fuck this, I'm not playing any more. I swear I will fling a book at his head if he carries on. No, I'll throw the whole mansion at him with him still in it. See if he has any good comebacks then. Cheap. I'll give him cheap.

"You're making that weird noise again" he says, looking back down at his book and practically ignoring me once again. "Why don't you go and do something else for a bit. Just for the love of God don't tell me what - and have lunch ready by one. I want chocolate éclairs".

I can't even be bothered to inform him that éclairs aren't all that appropriate for lunch. He'd probably just say I was being cheap anyway, because I'm a cheap whore apparently.

"Yes, My Lord" I say in this mocking, sarcastic voice while looking at the ceiling instead of his bratty face. Not very mature, fine, but it's all I have left. I storm from the room and slam the door behind me with a satisfying ' _thud_ ' and head straight for Snakes room on the first floor. Because I'm a whore.

The head butler of the household is in charge of the master key. It opens every single door in the Manor and can only be used in case of emergency. An emergency just like this one, I'm sure - I barge right into Snake's bedroom and console myself by staring hungrily at the writhing mess on the bed.

The man's pale body can hardly even be seen underneath the tangle of serpents undulating all over and around him. The whole bed looks to be alive and moving, but I only have a second to appreciate this wonderful insanity before the white-haired servant goes for the bed sheet and rips it up to cover himself. The snakes all go quiet and freeze (figuratively, not literally) and he looked up at me with slight surprise, the most emotion I have ever seen on his usually expressionless face.

"Black?"

He's even a bit breathless, a pretty pink flush adorning his cheeks and his colourless hair sticking to his neck. I breathe in the scent of sweaty reptile sex, a perverse and audible sniff that causes a wrinkle of confusion to creep onto his forehead. Lovely.

"Pardon the intrusion" I say, my eyes raking down the visible contours of his body under the sheet. I'm trying to find the bulge of his dick but there's just way too many snakes and I wonder if he ever has the same problem. "The Young Lord was merely concerned for your welfare after hearing some peculiar sounds. It gratifies me to see that you are fine - I'm certain the Master will be most pleased to hear _all_ about it".

I put a ridiculous amount of emphasis on the 'all' and spin around, making as if to leave.

"Wait"" he says, just like I planned. It's so easy, like disembowelling a human while they attempt to flee, but they just make everything worse until their insides fall out all over the floor and splatter everywhere and they just have to look at it. See what I mean? So simple, so predictable. Where was I.

I turn slowly and raise an eyebrow.

"This... this isn't..."

Oh Satan, is he about to tell me this isn't what it looks like? I sure fucking hope so, but he changes tactic before I can laugh in his face.

"We don't do this anymore. It was just this one time (says Oscar)".

"Anymore? Am I to take it that this was a regular occurrence in the past?"

I want to hear him admit how much he loves to fuck his snakes.

"Not since living here (says Emily). We tried not to" is all he says, hanging his head. Disappointing, but he does seem quite ashamed about the whole thing, which is nice.

"I'll be sure to inform the Master, then" I say cheerfully, backing further away towards the door.

"We really liked it here" he replies sadly, speaking to his lap.

He isn't begging, why isn't he begging? It looks like he's really going to just let me go and tell on him, this isn't fun at all. I suppose I'll give him a prompt since he selfishly isn't sticking to the script in my head.

"Perhaps the Master doesn't have to know about it. We could always come to an arrangement..."

That perks him right up. "Yessss" he says eagerly, the 's' trailing off like a hiss.

I reach behind myself and lock the door again with an audible 'click'.

"Very well, then. Please continue".

I grab a chair and place it in front of the bed, sitting myself down and looking at him expectantly. He looks at me like I'm insane. Why does this always happen? I said please, I know manners are important, and the instruction was clear, wasn't it? Maybe not. I break it down for him, because I'm considerate and helpful like that.

"We can keep this between us only if you do as I say. Now please, continue with your activities".

A snake hisses but he doesn't translate. He seems hesitant, like he's on the verge of making a deal with a demon, which I suppose he is. Sort of. I wasn't going to tell the Master anyway so he isn't really gaining anything, but he doesn't know that.

"It's because I'm disgusting" he says matter of factly.

What does that even mean? Of course he's disgusting, they all are, but it has nothing at all to do with the conversation. Am I supposed to know what he's on about? And why is he just sat there, depriving me of the weird serpent sex show that I never knew I wanted until now?

"Go" I order in a firm voice that leaves no room for argument.

He huffs out a humourless laugh. "Fine. We don't have anything left to lose anymore, anyway".

I can't decide whether that's depressing or hilarious, one of the two, but then he finally does as he's told and my attention is stolen by the movement of his hand. It snakes (hah, snakes) underneath the bedsheet and I can see the outline of it moving around between his legs. The hissing starts up again, though it is quiet, and his face has flushed a wonderful shade of red.

"I can't see" I say kindly, like a mother explaining something obvious to a child.

His response is quiet, almost whispered and it contains some kind of unidentifiable emotion, one of the useless ones that I can never keep track of. "Why would you want to?"

Is he actually asking me? I have no idea, this conversation is confusing as fuck. I just want to watch him fuck the snakes, is that so difficult?

Fuck it, I'll just get my cock out.

He's avoiding my eyes but I stare right at him anyway as I unzip myself and pull out the stiff length. Yes, I'm hard, the room just smells too good not to be. I let it stick right up and I know it looks amazing, inch after inch of flushed dick in perfect contrast with the deep black of my uniform. I use just my forefinger and thumb to play with the tip as I wait for some kind of reaction.

His eyes are wide and his breathing has quickened. That's it. That's all I get. I feel like it's national annoy Sebastian day - the kind of neglect I've received is bordering on abuse, maybe I should find someone to complain to.

"Now you. That's fair, isn't it?" I say reasonably.

Just when I'm on the verge of throwing a tantrum, he does as he's told. The mood changes almost imperceptibly as the sheet gets lowered and his skin is revealed to me bit by bit. The serpents lay there unmoving, their baleful eyes fixed on me as I check out their... master? companion? fuck buddy? I don't know. Anyway, Snake's body doesn't come as too much of a surprise; slender, lightly muscled, pale, and marred by what look like scales here and there. It isn't unattractive - as a demon, I've seen worse. I once fucked a two headed pixie with a forked tail and teeth instead of eyes, but that's a different story.

"Mmmmm". I make a really annoying noise of aroused encouragement, just because humans seem to enjoy that sort of thing and I'm really accommodating like that. It works nicely, his breath catching in his throat as the sheet gets tossed aside, and now I can see his dick getting pumped in his fist. It's only half hard, but getting harder as I make those stupid sounds. Doesn't take long to reach its full potential either - the thing goes a deep shade of red in seconds and twitches so much that it's sort of pathetic. It makes me happy so I lick my lips.

The snakes begin to move again slowly, brushing over his skin and hissing. Good, now we can finally get started. I can finally have the treat that I so deserve.

The thought is barely in my mind before he comes. The snakes all make loud snake noises as his back arches and he spunks all over the place without even making a single noise. What did I just say about people liking sounds?? Okay I'm not a people but it might have been nice, I don't even get anything, where is my show! This is a terrible performance, I want my money back.

He settles back onto the bed when he's done, breathing roughly and still not looking at me. His stupid snakes are covered in his fluids but I can't really tell whether they give a shit or not.

That's it, I'm throwing my tantrum.

My clothes are off in a second, though his eyes are screwed shut so he doesn't notice my unnatural speed. They fly open in surprise when I straddle him, snakes and all, going right for his dick and pressing it against my own. His semen is still warm where it smears into my skin and I give a rude thrust forward.

"Ah!!" he cries out. Not very profound, but it will have to do. He pushes his hips up for more and a spark ignites (figuratively, not literally) as the snakes really come to life, writhing over his body and slithering underneath me, one even winding itself around my thigh as I swipe a hand through the spilled fluids and slick us up even more. My left hand squeezes our pricks together and he's rigid under my fingers, against my cock, I do love an encore. Hopefully he won't come so fast this time.

I feel a smooth, scaly body brush over my testicles as one of the serpents makes its way between my legs. It's weirdly pleasant.

"Is... is this okay (says Emily)?"

He still won't look at me as I grind our dicks together, his hands awkwardly flopped either side of him.

"Mmmm which one is she?"

He seems embarrassed to gesture to the brown snake currently coiling around his hip. Our dicks make a loud slurping sound as he does, and he screws his eyes shut again.

"Well, tell her to join in. I cannot bear indolence".

Apparently she hears me, a long ' _sssssssss_ ' sounding out before she lurches into motion, heading straight for the centre of activity. Her blunt nose nudges against the base of my cock and I get the slightest bit nervous before she slides around, her body ghosting over my flesh as she circles our erections.

I move my hand aside as the loop is completed, her whole sinuous body looking like a fat brown knot tying our dicks together. Please tell me she's doing what I think she's doing.

She tightens that coil and squeezes us, not too hard but not too gentle either and I feel like I've died and gone to Hell, it's so good. I'm being milked by a fucking snake with my dick pressed against another dick and the smell of fresh semen all around us. It doesn't get much better than this.

Or maybe it does. The rest of the snakes are loud and restless, writhing around and shifting with more purpose. Emily is still undulating around our dicks when a thin, red snake makes its way towards the source of my pleasure. I look down in fascination and watch as a small, forked tongue flicks out over the exposed wet head of my cock.

I feel a jolt of sensation over the sensitive flesh and I grit my teeth, hoping the snake will do it again. It does - that thin tongue darts in and out in quick motions, brushing against me each time as Emily continues to squeeze.

"Wilde says that...." Snake seems to have trouble finding the words when I start to move again, slowly working my hips to rub our cocks together steadily. " _You taste good_ ".

I am so turned on right now I actually moan, I genuinely moan, for real. His dick is so slippery and it twitches against mine as my movements get more uncoordinated, pushing relentlessly into those smooth coils. The snake between my legs is definitely brushing against my scrotum on purpose, fuck, these snakes are such sluts. I'm the biggest whore of them all though.

I bury myself one last time and grunt inelegantly as I come, a mind-numbing sharpness to the orgasm as the serpents continue to writhe, drawing out every last drop as I shudder through it. The one wrapped around my leg constricts just a little bit tighter and it hurts, fuck, do it again, yes....

I'm soaked and panting when I'm done. Snake is looking a little bit alarmed.

"Are you all right (says Oscar)?"

I quickly check that my appearance has stayed human - as much as I would love to get my tentacles out and make this a real party, I don't think he's quite ready for that. Luckily I'm as beautiful and human as ever, I must have just been a bit loud. Reptile fucking is totally normal to him, but vocalisation apparently freaks him out.

"Indeed" I say, and disentangle myself from the snakes. The one on my leg drops away as I move, and I stand as gracefully as I can, which is quite graceful indeed.

There's come everywhere and not all of it is mine. I didn't even notice when he shot his second load - I'm definitely a much better performer than he is. I snatch up his discarded bedsheet and clean the fluid from my skin before throwing it onto the floor. I'm not washing that thing, he can do it himself.

"As per out agreement, I shall not tell anyone of these events. I suggest you keep quiet about it too - the Master is renowned for his fearsome temper, after all, and we would not want to displease him, would we".

"Black?" He asks quietly, and I just know he's going to want to 'talk about it' for fucks sake.

 I am fully dressed again and my hair is perfect, I don't have time for this. "I must see to the lunch preparations" I inform him. He finally meets my eyes and some annoying emotion is painfully transparent on his face, one of the really worthless ones. More importantly, I wonder if snakes can come? Maybe I'll look this up in the library later, though I don't have very high hopes for the human textbooks. They usually only contain useless information, like what to do if a snake bites you or how to create an antidote to various venoms. Why bother when you're only going to die eventually anyway?

My mind is fully immersed in the futility of humanity as I spin around and unlock the door, not even closing it behind me as I march off towards the kitchens. I don't bother to wash my hands as I make the stupid éclairs for my Master, and I have no intention of showering either. I must reek of sex, and possibly of reptiles, but that shouldn't come as a surprise. After all, I am one hell of a cheap whore.


	4. Irene Diaz and Mey-Rin

A butler has a multitude of important duties to perform. He is a representation of his household and his actions should reflect that, with every little detail of his work remaining consistently immaculate, the very embodiment of precision and perfection.

I take this into account while I'm fucking the blonde actress woman. You know, the one got me to dress as a horse thing that one time. I never really bothered to remember her name. She advertises Funtom's perfume line now and, lucky me, the price for such a thing is a good fuck once a month. Or a hundred pounds. You can guess which option my Master chose, cheapskate that he is.

Anyway, she may be an actress but I'm putting on a much better show than she ever has.

"Ohhh yes, yes" I throw my head back and moan, like agreeing repeatedly makes any sense whatsoever.

She loves it though, fisting at the bed covers tightly as I fuck her. I've opted for the missionary position again since she has such a sad lack of imagination that anything else might be too much of a stretch. Her legs wrap around my waist as I pound her into the mattress, bending her at the waist so that the wonderful curve of my dick can slam in at the perfect angle every time. Her eyelids flutter and her mouth is open in a perfect 'o' as I undulate my hips, her cunt slurping me up with every push.

I'm so bored. She just lies there, taking everything I have to give and that's it. Nothing else. There's just the constant ' _smack smack smack'_ of my hips and her occasional moans every time she comes - which has been twice so far and we're fast approaching the third. Maybe I can leave then.

I just about feel her walls begin to tighten again, which is nice really because she was so wet and loose before that there was hardly any friction to speak of.

"Mmm don't stop" she whispers desperately and I toy with the idea of slowing down and denying her orgasm. That might actually be interesting, my dick even starts to feel good inside her at the thought, but a glance at the clock on the table shuts that idea down. A butler always adheres to his schedule, regardless of how retarded it might be.

I reach between us and brush my fingers against my own slippery dick as it sinks in and out. I could probably get off if I kept on like this, but unfortunately it is _her_ pleasure that I'm aiming for, not my own. I shift my digits and press them against her swollen clit, making little circles there and fucking her harder until she cries out.

"Ohhhh!"

She's coming, I can feel it, that sudden rush of wetness as she clamps around me. I feel myself sliding around, the soft warmth rubbing right over the head of my cock as I get nice and deep and it's not bad, maybe I could climax, but then she goes limp on the bed and I know that we're done.

"Ohhh that was soooo good" she mumbles, doing absolutely nothing to help me finish off. Bitch.

I pull out my stiff cock and look at it. It glistens in the light from her tacky chandelier and the tip looks so plump and pink, the curves and ridges of it all absolutely flawless. If there was ever any doubt about my capabilities as a butler the perfection of my dick would prove otherwise. Trust me.

"Do you want to stay?"

What? I look up and she's holding out her arms like she wants something. I inwardly shudder. No, you stupid bint, I would rather rip your face off than stay any longer.

"I'm afraid I must decline" I say, dressing myself again in my perfectly folded uniform. There isn't a crease on it, I'm just that good at my job. "My Master awaits me and I have a few errands to run".

She pouts and starts to say something else but I'm done here so I spin around and walk off, feeling my cock stick to my leg as I do. It's still all juicy and the feeling is most uncomfortable, just another thing to add to my growing list of complaints.

I slam the door to the stupid trailer behind me and traipse my way back across the lot and to the theatre. The small VIP lounge has a bar and that's where the brat is waiting for me along with an entourage of other actresses, already dressed up ready for the evening's performance. He looks almost as miserable as I am.

"Oh he's just so adorable" one of the idiots twitters as I approach. She pinches Ciel's cheek and he grimaces. "Can I keep him?"

Yes, for fucks sake take him, good luck with that.

"Sorry to spoil the fun, ladies. I'm afraid I must insist that my Master and I take our leave".

A collective groan/sigh/generic actress noise of disappointment.

"You'll be back for another business meeting soon, though?"

"Indeed".

I smile politely and Ciel extracts himself with as much dignity as he can muster, which isn't really all that much.

"I'll be sure to send you those samples of our newest range" he says, and all the women squeal like pigs.

They gossip amongst themselves as we leave and I can hear the words 'cute' and 'Earl' and 'adorable'. It doesn't make any sense, I'm right here - why the Hell would anyone bother to look at some boring one-eyed child when sex personified is in the same room?

"Did you enjoy that, Sebastian?" He mumbles quietly as we reach the street. He has that annoying smirk on his face.

"So much, Master, thank you for asking. Though perhaps you would like to do the honours yourself next time since you find it so amusing?"

That smile doesn't even falter. "Why, would you prefer to get fawned over by the rabble instead? You probably would, wouldn't you. You did look a bit jealous back there. I wonder, though, who exactly you were jealous of?"

He gives me a side-eye, probably waiting for me to lose my shit, though he'll have to do much better than that. "I was merely musing whether or not to purchase tickets for the weekend showing while we were there. I hear children like that sort of thing".

Hah, I called him a child, he hates that. Gets him every time.

"Why, who were you thinking of taking?" He asks with a stupid tilt of his head and a widening of that smirk.

What the - what's that supposed to mean? I fucking hate this brat all he ever does is argue and talk shit. I give him a blank look and he laughs.

"Quite right, Sebastian. You're _far_ too old to ever be classed as a youth".

I practically stuff him into the carriage, slamming the stupid flimsy door and feeling grateful that at least I'm driving so I don't have to breathe the same horrible toxic air as him. I march off to the front and take up the reigns. Technically this is supposed to be Snakes job but he's been avoiding me for the past few days for some reason. Humans are so weird.

I'm still in a foul mood when we reach the Manor. The wind has messed up my hair, I can feel it sticking out, I bet it looks awful.

"Your hair is fine" Ciel snaps. I didn't even say anything, I literally didn't say a word, what is he some kind of Demon mind reader now? "I'll be in my office completing the paperwork. Why don't you go and check on the servants and then have some tea ready for me. Not green tea though. Or oolang".

How fucking fussy can you get.

"Or camomile, I hate camomile. Oh and not assam either. Or chai. Or anything with fruit in it".

Oh for fucks sake, earl grey it is then.

"Yes, My Lord".

I bow like a cunt and we part ways at the bottom of the staircase. Hopefully the servants haven't wrecked the place while we were away.

I do a quick sweep of the rooms and find everything surprisingly intact. It's suspicious. There isn't even so much as a whiff of smoke in the kitchen and no smashed plates in the dining room. I peer out the windows at the lawn and find the grass neatly cut, the shrubs trimmed....

What the fuck is going on.

I circle around, making my way back through the servants quarters and down towards the utility room where the clothes get washed once a week.

That's when I hear a weird noise, a sort of snuffling sound. I haven't asked Mey-Rin to do any laundry today but there's obviously something going on in there. I wait for a moment until that sound comes again and then slip quietly past the door right in the middle of it.

I'll just cut to the chase: the maid is sniffing my trousers. Not the ones I'm wearing, fortunately, but a pair from a few days ago that had sauce spilled on it from her blustering efforts at the dinner table. Maybe she did that on purpose, come to think of it. Either way she's really going to town, inhaling hard with her eyes closed in pleasure as though she's sampling the very finest cuisine. It's such a thorough sniff that even her cheeks have gone pink, it would be a shame if someone were to spoil her fun.

I clear my throat loudly and she screams, full on _screams_ , and whirls around to stare at me with those huge lamp-like eyes. She looks like an owl that just got caught sniffing some trousers.

"Are we having fun, Mey-Rin?"

Tell me we are.

"Mister Sebastian, I...I..." She looks from me to the trousers, me to the trousers. It's hilarious. "I...didn't think you'd be back so soon, no I didn't".

Oh, my bad. How fucking inconsiderate of me, please continue with your perversions.

"Apologies for our punctuality, I'm sure. Now would you mind explaining what exactly occurred in my absence?"

"Oh, well you see..." I could practically witness the gears in her brain working overtime "the thing was....well..."

"Well?"

"Well, I was just checking, yes, checking to see if the laundry needed doing, see I couldn't remember whether it had been done already, no....."

"Mey-Rin there's a mustard stain next to your left hand. Of course it hasn't been done".

She looks at the stain as though it has just insulted her mother.

"Whaaat? When did that get there, I had no idea, I swear.... My eyes, you know, I'm blind as a bat".

This is shaping up to be more entertaining than the entire two hours of fucking with the boring actress. Speaking of which, my dick is still sticky and in need of a good pumping. I'm sure Mey-RIn would be only too happy to oblige, lucky girl.

"Mey-Rin my dear, please sit on this stool".

"You know, now that I look I can see it but honestly Mister Sebastian it's such a blur when I look at things close up, how was I to know that.... wait, what?"

"The stool. Sit on it".

She blinks a few times before silently obeying, dropping the trousers onto the pile of laundry and plopping down onto the basic wooden stool in front. Her head is about level with my chest now. That will do nicely.

There is no lock on this door so I have to improvise. I pick up one of the metal coat hangers and bend it out of shape, twisting it around the door handle as if it were made of rubber.

I turn around and she's just sat there staring. Not at the uncannily bent metal - at me. Her heart is pounding hard and she'd trying to regulate her breathing. It's making me hard already.

"Do you enjoy sniffing my garments, Mey-Rin?"

The question catches her off guard, like most things tend to do. "Ahhhh.....ummmm...."

"Do I smell good?"

She gasps as I approach and I gently cup the back of her head and bring it down to my crotch, pushing her face against my hardening cock. She's actually a good sport - I hear her take a deep whiff, almost as if she can't help herself, and she moans as all that testosterone-musk hits her.

"Yes" she whimpers in this small voice. She seems so timid and nervous, I love it. Congratulations maid, you're actually making me horny.

"Would you like a taste?" I say the words in this sultry, seductive tone that even I wouldn't be able to resist. She nods and I feel the little bump of her nose drag up and down my dick. "Good girl".

I place two fingers under her chin and tilt it up to look at me. She avoids my gaze at first so I wait until eventually our eyes lock.

That's when I undo the buttons on my trousers with my free hand and reach in to pry out my arousal. Inch after inch of swollen shaft springs out and bobs a few times and she can't help but fixate on it immediately, everything else forgotten as something this appealing pulsates right by her face.

Her lips part at the sight so I take the opportunity to nudge the head of my dick against them. She's so accommodating, opening wide and letting me slide right into that warm wet mouth. I wonder if she can taste the actresses cunt.

"Mmnnnnngh" she moans, and I'm pretty sure she likes it. Residual pussy juice doesn't seem to be an issue for her.

"Yes, lick it".

She does as she's told for a change, slurping at the end eagerly and swirling her tongue in a slow circle before sucking it all back in and moving her head up and down. Shit, she might actually be good at giving head. Shame I won't get to see how good, not today at least.

I pop my dick out of her mouth and she looks at me all unfocused, spit and other fluids glistening on her lips.

 "Sit up straight now, yes that's it" I order, pushing her shoulders gently. When she's in the right position I begin to pull at her blouse, unlacing the little bow at her throat and ripping open the buttons. Her ample cleavage is revealed and her face gets even redder as I regard the exposed, pale flesh. Her hands fly up to try and hide herself after just the briefest of glimpses.

"Don't look" she says in embarrassment. _Embarrassment_ , like she wasn't just sucking on my cock a second ago.

"Oh, come now. You wouldn't deny me such a lovely sight, would you?"

I peel back the layers further and she lets me, still holding her hands in the way but I'm able to fold down the material and allow the full globes of flesh to bounce forth.

"Nooooo" she whines, and cups her tits so that I can't get anywhere near them. How fucking selfish can someone be? I just gave her a face full of cock and then she gives me this human barricade in response, it's outrageous.

"Hush, let me see" I coax gently, and I should win the patience of the year award or something for not just straight up slapping her in the head.

Slowly she lowers her hands. Her chest is flushed but her breasts are so massive that it's like the blood vessels just give up half way along. The skin becomes creamy white and her areolas are big and pink, the nipples hard and dark at the centre.

"There, that wasn't so bad now, was it?" I say soothingly, right before I reach for one and roughly pull it to the side. It feels soft and warm, even through my glove, and my dick throbs approvingly. I'm still soaked with her saliva, slippery, which is good because I lean forward and stick my erection right between her tits and let go of the one, pushing both mounds together and feeling the squeeze around my shaft.

She doesn't seem to know quite what to do with herself when I start moving. I slide my cock in the crevice of her cleavage and feel my foreskin drag up and down in that grip as I move my hips, the skin so supple and smooth it has me panting in moments.

And then the self-conscious maid, so unsure of herself a moment ago, grabs her own tits and squishes them together even tighter, leaning back a bit so that I can really wank myself off nicely with her chest.

Ahhh she's growing on me, this one. My hands slide around to support her back as I hump away in earnest, her whole body shaking with the force of my thrusts. She takes it all, right until I pull away and aim my cock at her face.

"Open your mouth" I say breathlessly.

I jack myself off and I'm so good at it, using just the right speed and pressure to work my dick to completion. She does as she's told for the second time, it must be some kind of miracle, and I hold myself still just as I feel the rush of orgasm shooting right down my dick and out the end.

My come flies out in waves, some of it getting in her mouth and some of it shooting off to fuck knows where, and it's a good job she's still wearing her glasses because she definitely needs a splash guard at this point. The milky fluid spills from me and I groan as it goes on and on, making my knees feel weak as I shudder along with the relentlessly throbbing heat.

She leans forward right as I'm almost done and gives the oozing tip a single lick and I think I might actually love her, how did I never realise that she was this wonderful, so marvellous, what a brilliant maid she is.

My orgasm ebbs away and I realise that actually no, I was right the first time, she's really annoying. She continues to lick at me like she's thirsty and my sensitive dick protests at how inconsiderate she's being, so I shove her shoulders away in disgust and take a step back.

She looks a little on the debauched side. Okay, she's a total wreck; her fat tits hang out over her maids uniform and her lips are swollen, there's fluid on her chest and semen all over her face. She's gasping for breath and I can smell how aroused and wet she is, I bet she wants nothing more in the world than for me to bend her over right now.

Another time, though. I have more important things to do than service humans. Actually I don't, I literally just have to go and make tea for the brat, but still, it's so much fun to tuck my dick away and watch her face sink in disappointment.

"Perhaps you'd like to see to the laundry after all, Mey-Rin. I expect the clothes need an extra soak now" because I accidently shot a line of semen all over them haha they aren't even that nearby, it's so impressive that I feel the need to congratulate myself.

"Oh, I....Oh" she says. Am I supposed to respond to that? That's not even English, it's just noises.

"And do tidy yourself up, you look most inappropriate" I scold and she snaps to it, apologising profusely as she pulls her blouse back into place and starts on the buttons.

My dick sticks to my leg again I make to leave and it seems I'm doomed to an eternity of readjusting the damn thing. Maybe I'll wash it in the kettle water before I make the brats tea, it's not as if he's expressly forbidden that sort of thing.

I'm halfway to the kitchen when I hear the familiar sounds of Mey-Rin fingering herself. She orgasms within seconds and I hear a small sob among the usual moans and chants of my name. The whole thought puts a cheerful smile on my face and I'm so lost in my own self-appreciation that I don't even notice the other servants before I'm already in the room.

Bard, Snake and Finny are all stood looking very stern indeed, leaning against the kitchen counter with their arms crossed across their chests, though Snake looks a bit awkward about the whole thing.

"We're holding an intervention" says Bard seriously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this at all then now's a good time to say! Leave a kudos or a comment and I'll be very grateful


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